God knows the best

How do you feel when God said "Wait!"?

As a believer, we thought to be patient on waiting God's promises to be fulfilled in our lives. As a person, our human nature said the opposite. Our dreams to be a parent is not easy. i'm one of PCOS woman, means my ovulation is rarely happen. So it make me really desperate to have a child. But His words remind me constantly to have faith in Him. Maybe this time God wants me to practice my faith. I can easily have faith on material things such as house, car, and any other stuff. But for this one, I become a  person who just become a believer. I have to rely on Him, hope for His mercy and grace to give us a child.

I also believe, to strengthen the other you must through the same kind of problems too. So, If God want to use me as His tools to share His miracles upon my life, I must through the process too. Faith is hoping something that you know it is impossible. Faith goes beyond our mind, our logic, our strength, and our capability to make it comes true.

Maybe some of you will say, nowadays there are so many ways to get a child including IVf. Yes it is true, but when I think about it, I remember about Sarah that one step closer to get a child but She asked Abram to sleep with her maid. We want a child but we want God's miracle instead try our best to get a child.

In the beginning I asked you, how do you feel if God told you to wait? Our feeling must be sad, upset, or maybe even worse we start to hate God.

Hey you over there, If you hate God and start to stand the other side of Him then you have took a silly decision. God is our creator, the one who knows the best for us. If you start to take stand with devil means you lose. Remember, the devil is the the one that thrown away from God. You take stand with it means you are a loser too.

When God asked us to wait means He knows the best for us. Maybe, the road in front of us is a  cliff or the valley of shadows that filled with cries and suffering. Why you choose to jump to the valley of sorrow when you can taste His blessing on the ground you stand now.

For some of you, who felt like you've been fall to the valley, it's not  late yet to ask Him pull you from that place. Be grateful for what you have now and don't let the devil take it from You. Once again, I just want to say God knows the best for our life.

My love story

HE IS THE ONE 

God design a little heaven in my life

            Hi all, it's been a long time from my absence in this blog. I was busy back then by my wedding preparation last year. I'm a married woman to a lovely and handsome man, Mr.Welly Reagan. Our wedding was held on 10-10-15. Later, I will share my wedding preparation stories. How many of us still believe that drama movie can be real? I don't, personally..but it happened in my life. 

           So, this is the story.. Four and half years ago ( March- June 2011), I met this man. We were working in the same room. He prepared flyer for retreat in our church that day, and I came once in a week to prepare multimedia ministry on Sunday. So, we met and barely talk, just know each other.    I love another man on that period ( not my boyfriend just crush) . I looked him as a grown up man and I just a youth (He is too old for me). He is working and I just an undergraduate student. He is 4 years older than me. 

            I thought that our meetings stopped there. But, accidentally it's not. I was walking with my best friend (Ms.N) and I want to chat about my love life. He was in the same restaurant and saw us, He asked us to join him and his friends. He asked our BBM Pin and He started chat with my BF. He asked me so many information about her. Shortly, they were in a relationship from March,2012 until early June,2014. 

           In the same time, when they broke up, my phone broke up. So, my phone were going to service center and they don't have my temporary contact. I knew the news around late June by my BF. In the same time, I were considering another man. By July 14th,2104, He contacted me when I waited for that other man (Mr.H). Mr.H was went into a place until late night, He went to sleep without tell me his arrival.

          We (I and Mr,Welly) talked about his opinion on their broke up reason and end up with knowing our vision is same. I willingly submit my career and become a house wife. Anyway Mr.H want to go to same country with my BF. Mr.Welly and Ms.N broke up because Ms.N want to study abroad for a long time, but Mr.Welly didn't want to go. As I knew Mr.H and Ms.N want to go to same country so, I introduced Mr.H to Ms.N. They already went to that country, they were engaged,.

                As the story goes by, I'm continuing our story ( Mr.Welly and I). In our journey, the road wasn't smooth. His first action was, know my parents and He introduced me to His Dad. He was looking for a house that day. Stormy day came to our "PDKT" stage. Miscommunication and distance are the problem among us. Our communication style is different, I love to talk by phone. He love to text me. I hate it that way...Oughhh

                Another problem was come and go.. Day by day, week by week, month by month, and after 5 months, He finally asked me to become His life partner (proposing). He didn't asked me to be his girlfriend but his wife.. December 22, 2014. So, we are in relationship and have our engagement on March 22,2015, and held our wedding on October 10, 2015..

The drama part is that we exchange partner accidentally. I love this "accident"

God really design a little heaven in my life, since you came into my life... I love you Mr.Welly Reagan. +Welly Reagan 

Our journey to marriage stage will be share soon ^^

See you, Gbu



Sincerly,



Priska Reagan

My dream come true

Hi again...

Just come back from a long journey :p

Tema ku kali ini adalah mimpiku yang jadi nyata... Dari aku kecil, aku sudah memiliki sebuah nazar, ikrar, mimpi, janji atau apapun sebutannya. Hal itu agak sedikit ku sesali memasuki masa SMP, sepertinya Tuhan menutup jalan untuk orang-orang yang mencintaiku. Hubungan kami hanya berlangsung sampai PDKT. Tak pernah ada jawaban iya yang aku lontarkan.

Memasuki masa SMA, aku mulai kesal dan sedih ketika lagi-lagi sepertinya Tuhan tutup jalan. Nazar telah terucap, janji, dan mimpi tak dapat kutarik lagi. Terlanjur rasanya untuk berhenti di tengah jalan. Dengan idealisme yang tinggi aku melanjutkan hidup dan berusaha mengubur dalam-dalam keinginanku untuk memiliki pasangan. ku fokuskan diriku untuk belajar dan terus belajar. Godaan tentu banyak, tapi tak ku hiraukan.

Menapaki bangku kuliah, kurasa ini adalah saat yang tepat untuk membangun hubungan spesial. Tetapi kegagalan demi kegagalan terus ku temui. Hingga lelah hati ini mengapai asa yang melambung tinggi. Seringkali aku bersikap nekat dan aku tidak perduli akan kehendak Tuhan. Aku merasa Tuhan tidak adil, ak melihat teman-temanku yang memiliki pasangan sedangkan aku tidak.Tapi jalan tidak pernah terbuka untuk orang yang tidak tepat. Belum lagi pertanyaan sinis dari sanak saudara yang menanyakan mengenai kapan punya pacar? Oh Tuhan, rasanya aku ingin menghilang ditelan bumi

Kehampaan hati lebih terasa lagi ketika memasuki masa kerja awal. Rasanya aku sudah menjadi ratu bagi duniaku tapi dimana Raja untuk hatiku. Seolah tak kurang, aku sempat dengan seorang pria yang bahkan sudah datang menemui orang tuaku. Rasanya aku tak perlu lagi tanya Tuhan, yang penting aku mau dia. Tetapi karena bukan dia yang terbaik tetap Tuhan menjauhkannya dariku. 

Memasuki tahun ketiga aku bekerja(23,5 tahun) aku lebih tenang dan berusaha tegar, terlebih aku dipercaya untuk memegang kelas yang akan segera menghadapi UN. Menjadi walikelas 9 bukanlah hal yang mudah, banyak yang harus diurus. Di hari terakhir sebelum tahun ajaran 2013/2014 berakhir aku sempat bersyukur pada Tuhan, karena aku akan merasa sangat terbeban dengan adanya pasangan. Aku hanya berharap akan mempunyai pasangan di saat yang tepat. Tahun ajaran pun berganti, seseorang hadir dan aku hampir saja memilihnya. 

Tepat disaat yang nyaris bersamaan, aku merasa bukan dia yang tepat (sebut saja H).Untuk apa aku melajang selama 23,5 tahun dan nekat dengan orang yang tidak tepat. Di hari yang sama dimana aku melepaskannya, aku menjalin komunikasi dengan seorang teman lama yang juga adalah mantan pacar dari sahabatku(sebut saja N). Di saat yang sama, aku merasa apakah dia adalah yang terbaik? Hatiku seolah berkata, sepertinya dia yang terbaik. Pikiranku, kutepis jauh-jauh karena dia baru saja putus. Dan apakah pantas?

Singkat cerita, hubungan kami semakin dekat. Tak ada gelora asmara yang menggebu, hanya ada perjalanan yang terus dipertahankan ketika menghadapi badai dan jalan-jalan yang penuh dengan bebatuan tajam. Oh Tuhan, aku merasa tersiksa dengan perjalanan ini. Tapi kami terus bertahan. Satu titik, aku mengenalkan H dengan N. Saat aku kemukakan bahwa aku sedang dekat dengan mantannya, dia sempat marah. Tetapi pada akhirnya H dengan N bersatu(pacaran). Aku masih dalam status "digantung" hahaha.. 

Pada akhirnya, hari "penentuan" tiba. Aku dibawa ke Bandung untuk berkenalan dengan mamanya. Hari itu tanggal 19 Desember 2014, secara mendadak ia memintaku untuk berangkat dan menginap di Bandung. Tanggal 20 Desember 2014 sore,kami pulang. Sepanjang di Bandung dan perjalanan, ia sering menyentuhku mesra.. tapi kami masih sadar semua norma dan etika. Tanggal 21 Desember, kepala kami saling bersandaran di bioskop.

Tanggal 22 Desember 2014, ia memintaku untuk berkomitmen dengannya dan aku berikan surat penerimaan yang sudah aku siapkan sebelumnya. Saat itu, aku tahu bahwa Tuhan yang membuka jalan kami berdua. He is my first and my last... Love you to the moon and back my Charming Prince, Mr.Welly..you are my best.

Thank you Lord, for guide us this far.. 

Senior High School-Now

After a long time, I have promised to share my story to all of you about my life, now is the time. My 11^th grade, I choose social class rather than science one. My teachers encouraged me to choose science class, my English teacher said to me, “Just go to science class, and sit there for one week. If you feel uncomfortable, you can go back to social class.” But in the deep of my heart and mind, I already made decision and no one can change my mind.

I’m not a stupid students neither lazy one. I just want to develop my talents outside the school. I want to prove that social students can make proud for school. I also don’t like hard competition; more over compete to bad scores… My school is a high standard school, they set high expectation to their student especially science one. Me, myself don’t like it. I always want to have good scores and in the same time get many achievements.

XI IPS 3

I prove it to my school, I can become a delegation from my school to join Model of United Nations held by UNPAR, I became quarter finalist of Aloysius Debate Competition, 3^rd Winner for Speech Contest held by SMAN1 Bogor, First winner of Gonzaga Debate Competition, 4^th winner of National Economics Olympics held in Trisakti.

GONZAGA DEBATE

 GONZAGA DEBATE 

PMUN 2007

QUIZ UUD-MPR RI

Economics Competition

In the same time I can improve my rank from 10^th Grade until 12^th Grade. In the 10^th grade I became 5^th rank of the class.

 In the 11^th grade I became 3^rd rank of the class and in the end of 12^th Grade I became 1^st rank of the class.

In the senior high school, I didn’t really mind about partner in life because I have a principle that I have to focus on my study, if someone is my true love, he will never go away from my life. Until now I still waiting my true love form God. I want he is my first and my last.

REGINA PACIS BOGOR ALUMNI 2008

In the beginning of my twelfth grade, all of my friends busy to search university they want to join with. I came from simple family, my parents didn’t have enough money to let me enter to the university. I start to worry about it but I learnt to lean my future in God’s hand. The day after I prayed, my school start to announce Scholarships, the first one is UNPAR. UNPAR is one of fame and favorite university in Bandung. I applied to UNPAR, they gave me PMDK, 30% discount for regular payment. I have to pay 17 million at that time without voluntary donations. The second one I got full scholarship from ITHB, SI Program without test. My teachers also offered me some scholarship from Japan, Singapore, and America. The third one, I also got 50% scholarship at Trisakti. The last one was UPH scholarship for Teacher College.

RECIS ALUMNI 2008

ITHB SCHOLARSHIP

At that time I really asked God to show me which one is the best. Finally, God guide me to choose UPH in the end. As the only one child in the family, it was hard for me to stay in the dormitory. I have to adapt with my new environment. Over all, it was a good experience to study and stay there. My characters were changed a lot. Thanks God for it. 

UPH-TC ALUMNI 2008-2012

That’s all form my “school” life. What about you? May my story can be a blessing for my friends J

 Now I serve as a multimedia girl in GMS Favour satellite and I also serve as a Full Time Teacher at SDH Daan Mogot J

Multimedia Girl  J

Ms.Priska

We are the reason

http://www.4shared.com/audio/hUkelCPa/Avalon_-_We_Are_The_Reason.html


As little children we'd dream of Christmas morn
And all the gifts and toys we knew we’d find
But we never realized a baby born one blessed night
Gave us the greatest gift of our lives

We are the reason that He gave His life
We were the reason that He suffered and died
To a world that was lost He gave all He could give
To show us the reason to live

As the years went by we learned more of our gifts
The giving of ourselves and what that means
On a dark and cloudy day a man hung crying in the rain
Because of love
Because of love

*Chorus

I finally found the reason for living
It’s in giving every part of my heart to Him (every part to Him)
And all that I do every word that I say (you know I’ll be saying)
I will give all my life just for Him, just for Him (every thing for Him)

We are the reason that He gave His life
We are the reason that He suffered and died
To a world that was lost He gave all He could give (all that he could give all)
To show us the reason to live

#He is the reason to live
(don’t you know do you know the reason
that he came, oh he came to save us
when he gave his life for us) he suffered and died
To a world that was lost He gave everything (everything that He had He gave)
To show us the reason to live

*chorus + # together
Don’t know how I could thank Jesus all that he had all..
*chorus + # together








are you now feel worthy enough? Yesterday I felt so scared to faced my future and felt sudden emptiness in my heart. That is because an invisible distance between me and my heavenly Father...i overcome by my burden and situation i faced. on my birthday I've wrote to be careful for every little holes that can become a big dynamite in our life when devil use it. Without God, we are nothing...My heart beat so hard when I declared that I feel lonely, i feel empty, and the most broken is when i stated that i'm useless. I didn't have any HOPE, i didn't have heart of believe because i always look back through my experience, I failed several times to build relationship with people either it is man or woman. I felt that many people around me except my family; throw me away. I have negative thinking about myself and others. I felt that so many people there have so happily life rather than me. Suddenly i remember how i strengthening others then now i live exactly same life as them but it couldn't pull me out from wonders of uselessness but I got a "slap" through God's word that declared as a status from my cousin." why you are so afraid? Why you  don't believe me?" Those two sentences suddenly "slap" me to make me realize that God never leave me. He provide all what i need in His time. For some of my expectations, wills, and wonders that didn't filled yet, God have said: wait to His time or no because He has better plan. He is never too late but never too early. Each person blessed according to their needs and capacity. 

SMP till SMA

 Ok, Let's start again. My life school in the junior high school didn't run smoothly. Last time i post said that one of gang in my school start to push me. The leader of the gang was a  girl among many boys and few girls. In that time, that gang is one of the most famous gang that have power and ability to 'kick' out people that they do not want to see. If  a student become that gang member, it is mean that he will become powerful. After they pushed me to testing me before i  recruid to became their member.  The leader put me in the condition that i'm guilty,She said that she will not stop until i cried and confess that she is powerful. I refuse to join with them and obey their rules.  After several times of attack they did to me, i never cried even once, it make the leader saw a great princip in my life that she never found in  her life. She declares that Priska is the member and have same power. Once again, i refused to be called as their member because I didn't want to push other people.

My 7th grade has passed and we move to 8th grade

Based on the experience in 7th grade, I laready have a plan to protect myself. In the 7th grade i never said uselesswords, i never mad to other people but when i studied in the 8th grade, the whole world of mine changed. My cognitive scored goes down, against teachers, and became some on rude. All of those things was happened in the first semester of 8th grade. If we are now in 2009, i will regret for what i've done along my school years. But now in 2011, i can smile and said that the process that God let me to feel is not useless because I really enjoy my 8th grader life that full with cherish and purity. I was lost once and i don't want to see my students did the same like me about useless words and rude actions. I can changed in the second semester after i join with one retreat that held by my local church. I always remember that EVERY THING WE DO AND EVERY WORD WE SAY,HAVE CONSEQUENCES since that i commit my self to control my words.

As a girl i ever fall in love and he is my first love. In the first meeting, we argue each other to divide our table. His stuffs are not allowed to be in my area and opposite. We divide it by metal ruler(my area) and plastic ruler(his area). I gave this rule because i hate him. He always disturb my friends and i can't accept it. He obviously put his things on my area until i mad to him. The first impression sentence that i ever heard is " Why you hates me? Am i made any mistakes to you?" I just think in silent and realize that my friends should not affect my relation with any body else. I said to him, you always disturb my friend, my friend said it to me. He replied, have you ever know me before until you can judge me based on your friends opinion? In short, i impressed with him because he is not like what my friends said. Everyday we sang 3 favorites songs. So many beautiful days goes on but we never called our selves as a couple. literaly i can't said that i ever "in a relationship".

In the 9th grade our friendship stand still until he have to move from my school in senior high school. I faced a dilematic problem here. i confused to decide rather i have to letting go or move with him. In the other sidem there is one girl that put symphaty on him and tried to put me down. My best friends even became a backstabber and put my name on gambling table with him. They did't think about my feelings. But I decide to stay and forget all of those sad memories.

THE NEW PAGE
I came to a new pages in my life. Like another junior high students that feel proud to be senior one, so do i. I enter a new page on my life because i have to find a friend from the start again. In this stage, i have 3 best friends until now. Three womans with one man and that man always sat with me. Many teachers that went into our class always made sugesstion to build a special relationship with him. I never thaught that i will have any special relationship with him. This grade also become one of factors that made me choose social studies. I found difficulties to remember all of latin name in Biology, Besides that, I don't like to sank in competition. I guess almost all of smart persons go to IPA but the reality is not like that.

In the eleven grade I actually start to search the 'one' that can replaced my last experience that yet so unforgetable. I pray and I not really concern of it until one day , i went to Bandung and join with one competition. Day before i go, i said that i will never believe love in the first sight. It is what happened to me. oh no, what's happen to me. I build close relationship as a fiend about 2 months, but those coupke months make me have a wrong concept about the ideal man in my life. I put expectations to have some one that put attentionon one me from morning until night. I love the one that have criterias like that or the one more than it. I seacrh not a true love but the one that can make a new status on my life.

In the twelve grade i still have a worries of it but not as big as in the XI grade because I put my attention to search university and can graduate from high school....to be continued...

My Journey with God Introduction till SMP

Hello, my name is Priska, for this time i'm 20 years old.I'm a Christian and will become a Teacher. I create this blog to accomodate my longing to share my journey with Christ to this world. Maybe some of you think that no body can understand your problems or you shout that Priest only can give me suggestion without know and feel what i feel.Many people surround me think that I'm a woman/girl without problems, some of them think that i already know manythings, or she can be a happy girl because she never left like what i felt. But through this blog i want to share my life to the world.

I always love teddy bear dolls especially the white one, i love to swim and travelling.I live in the town that not really crowded in Indonesia,Bogor,The Rain City. I live in this town about 17 years. I never live far from my family until i studied in UPH,Karawaci. What a great struggle to faced it. Before i go to far, i want to tell about my family background. My father is an enterpreuner that work in textile industries. My siblings from my father are Catholic or Buddhist in majority. We are the only one that Christian in my father's familiy. My father is my inspiration and my encourager when I faced big problems. He is really patient and really loves me. He is the one that gave my name when i was born on this earth. My mom works in her friend's store after i went to Karawaci. She felt lonely when my father go to work and I attend class on my campus. My mother is my best friend, I can share and can ask any questions about life. She always bring me in her prayer every early morning even since I was still in her womb. She loves me and I love my parent too.

My life begin in this world!....ea...ea...ea.... it is an usual cry when a baby born but not with me...
November 20th,1990, right in my mother's birthday, she woke up and went with my father to search for some food and to celebrate her birthday simply. They finally went to eat Mie ayam, everything still undercontrol and my mom didn't feel anything. They went back to my Grandmother's home and suddenly she felt that the baby will born. In hurry, my father and my mother go to the hospital. It is already noon and the doctor said that the birth process will not begin now..My mom and dad wait for this moment and in short 21th November, my mom start the contraction, it is go on until November22th,1990,6.15 a.m. Finally i was born in this world but when I came out,I didn't breath and cried, the nurse and doctor already panic and worried about me. They hang me inverted and hit my bottom but I still sleep in silent. After the nurse suck up some liquid in my nose finally i awake and just cry for seconds.

In the year I was born, my family only hang their economic condition on my father's salaries as a salesman. My mom couldn't go to work because she have to bedrest along 1st trisemester of her pregnancy. My grandmother really worried about my family's condition but my mother only could pray and ask for God's companion from her 1st week until now. She pray to God that she gave a child that grow in her womb to God. My parent agree each other and they want to give me whatever the condition and term. After I was born, God always provides help to occupied my family needs. He never let my family couldn't eat even for a day.

I grow as a child that "know" God and His blessing. I can tell my friends to repent from their sins and i already know that in the end of our life, we will life eternally. The question is where we live? Heaven or Hell? I already told my friends to trust God and to obey Him. It is my sunday school life. I can be catagorized as a smart children that can learn something new in a short time. My mom put me to one playgroup in 2,5 years old. Play  groups are not popular like right now. I grow and everything seems run well.

I enter one of famous kindergarten in my town because my aunt recommend my family to studied there. On my age 3,5 years old, my friends sometimes did some harrasment on me. The most fatal is when one of boys in flag ceremony suddenly came to me and hit my stomach. I ever injured and I have to go to internist to heal my stomach that hurt by that boy. In my school, I couldn't do PE that need balance because my brain ever injured too and affect my balance. My mother worried about me and moved me to a new school that labeled as Christian school when I have to learn in elementary school.

In this new school,they threat me as a stranger and I couldn't count anymore how many times I have to cry because all girls there didn't like me. They mad to me and think that i will become their compatitor to get one man that they think attractive. As the time goes by, my headmaster also replaced by a new headmaster that sadistic and have mercy on my friend that close to his grandson. I have to get down to 3rd rank from the first rank because the first rank close with her grandson. She also recruit some teachers that teach in anger. Religion teacher that teach us to love one another, if one student false to answer her question, she will hit the student with the stick. After every session, the stick will broke up and she get a new one. One sadistic that i looked in my childhood is when one of my friends lie and my home room teacher took her steel pencil case and hit it to her head. How come it can happened in the Christian School. Finally my family took decision to move to my old school when i sit in the 4th grade. Now i can breath easily because my teacher loves her students. I graduate with the title as the best 10 of all students. Praise God.

Like anybody else i surely older and have to continue my education to junior High School. I did a test in number one school in Bogor and a famous one in other city. The result is i've been accepted in this school and here my life is not easy anymore. This school know the ability and strength of each student and in avarage. This school gave many homeworks,content,assignment and hard examinations. No one in this school can graduate without hardwork and focus on their academic.

First year in this school, I putted in a class that have a gang and the leader is actually a girl. She order one of my friends to tell me that the leader always cheat in the exam. Not too long from that moment, the leader said that " what a shame on you, how come you cheat on that exam." I never do that and i really mad to her. Finally, without thinking too long i said what i know about her, i said that she always cheat in every exam......i will continue my story tomorrow...